ORD's next week!
yet.. the excitement hadnt been what i pictured it to be. contrary its much lonelier & cold.
The phrase "朋友满天下(nt sure which xia)" seems to be a topic which doesnt applies to me.
really need to get my rigid-syndrome out of my life. I need more flow in everything I do, not some ass shit stupid logic and fear for something. Its a constant pet peeve when I cant sustain a proper conversation, understand what one is doing.. the 人汽关系 lah.. its so much easier putting it down on paper then reacting it out. Probably on paper just gives me the time to pause and think; out with people I'm always the one that seems to have dropped on the outside..

I crave that change. Yet how do i ? there's always that inner voice that says otherwise.. I'm tired...

A friend once said "words and visions are powerful tools shaping a future..."

I somehow doubt the truth of it. Then, it was the early bird for stand chart marathon 2012. I hesitated whether to "confirm payment" but I did anyway thinking about the image of me crossing the finish line smiling, knowing I had won the fight against 'what i was told not to do' - to run.
I was skeptical to start training; felt myself dwindling away.. I was caught in a dilemma, to risk or no risk. But this mental image kept coming back. so much so i took the risk and I told myself that 'finishing that race will be a sign of me winning'. I did a bit of training, slow and steady stuff.. at first it didnt felt good..

then somehow or rather things got better. I didn't know how it worked, it just got lesser pain and manageable that's the word. I'm cautious whether its my body developing its own pain killers or its really good.
Two days ago, I went for my fortnightly appointment at the doctor's. To my surprise: he actually said there wasn't anything he can do for my disc bulge today only the spinal adjustment.. :)
I had received my ace of spades. and yes that image still stood as I ran around macritchie reservoir yesterday afternoon - the longest run thus far.

Awesome!
To better, stronger and faster.

Awesome and Spectacular...
When the doors opened to the stage I was excited as were my guys.. and they came marching in, executing that almost seamless transition of drills and party rock anthem. That routine we've practiced countless of times since May. That music we've listened till we're always sick in the stomach. But on the actual day of 9th August 2012, I stood proud by the side as I watched them executed the best 8mins thus far.. Perfect Swee! It felt like the best present I could have given to Singapore and one of the best experience in my NS life.

Rewarding as it felt to see all walks of people come together to execute the drills. It had indeed been a long and painful journey with many downs and a few ups. People that were pumped up at the start losing the flame as time passes by.. extraordinary people we would just do the simple thing such as 'shutting up' when i'm talking, that simple respect.. perhaps the most rewarding were the people extinguishing the flame from the start and only through much coaxing then came back strong and full of valor. That feeling was so nice, and I really gotta thank my mentors who have given me the philosophy of not giving up on anyone, let the person choose his own fate. Encouragement is a pretty powerful thing.
Wherever this group of people end up in the future I wish them all the best. :)

Much can be said about ndp too, met friends there.. No new ones sadly but it had inspired me to want to come back and give back to what Singapore has provided. Renew that sense of patriotism. It wasnt felt so much last year but this year actually seeing the national flag fly past and the 21 gun salute.. It just drilled into you, glad to be home. 

Paddling yesterday's KOP for AJC also brought new perspective on how classes should be conducted too. Many a times we as trainers had focused our attention on students' strokes and how they paddle and their safety. But are teens nowadays just getting out of their house? do they value nature? It just gave me new insights when their teacher was talking to them about conservation and the purpose of today's expedition.. And sad to see a few interested in hearing what he has to deliver.
I might just try something similar in the future. then as to how to get people out and about? I think much really has to be done about the youth culture here then.. we need to eradicate the psp the ps3 from kids when they were young.. and the parents whom have gone through the mud and sweat needs to let their kids grow up the same way too.. else how to survive in the versatile planet called earth?