yes i still cant run, bored and soulless. running used to be my way of reliving frustrations and stress, now that i cant, i hope typing it out might be good for the soul.

sigh, been having a fair bit of mood swings recently. maybe its because of my back issues leaving me very quick tempered and not in the mood to socialise. tsk tsk no good no good.. Maybe its that I'm one that's always out and about; and just about recently people around me start to get busy.. so there's this energy around and no where to release it, owing to the start of me not able to run and do stuff.. welcoming frustrations.. sometimes I wished I could be in love; at least i get to be occupied, got someone to lean on, just Doing stuff.. every time this topic appears, all i could comment on is people's experience, my perspective, facts from the net, etc. Frustrating to hear and see so much, yet not been able to taste it..
*fingers crossed mate.

been also thinking about the future. Yes, procrastination leads you to davy jones! Back in poly, i used to think that 'heng, still got 2 yrs in NS to consider what to do.." but hor, in NS, this brain matter is practically frozen in time.. all i would think about is when book-out, when time-off.. studies and stuff are like locked and i've thrown away the key. fast forward and its 7months to go, and it seemed as though i've went to the north pole, came back and realised iphone4 had been launched.
its saddening that our society permits only a paper-or-dont-talk principle. Does studying so much make you a better person? Its just memorising and doing TenYearSeries, why dont we just get a computer instead? And that if one is not a paper holder, its almost certain the high paying jobs are out of your radar.. with cost of living aiming of the sky. how to survive when pay is not reciprocal to this increase? no wonder everyone's chasing the paper, studying for the sake of survival no longer a system where learning is based on one's curiosity, one's passion.. :(
to those that are not good memory machines, they naturally dont make the cut for subsised local universities. leaving private universities the alternative way to survive, but squeezing alot from your already drying pocket, plus rising cost of living. its an uphill struggle upon graduation indeed.
Change would be good. and in an urgent need to fast track. Everything from hiring to society as a whole. Currently, despite all. things are still largely modeled on the past, where the basics of starting up a country.. engineering, banking, medical.. but now that we've become first world, focus should be shared with things such as arts, science and sports.. everything in this sector is still pertaining to the thinking of 'if i do like this, how would we look, got money to gain?, dont have then throw'... back to money and glory again and paper chase. instead there should be a 'fall down and its okay try again' attitude, the process and people developer the importance. everyone's a leader in someway dont they? so focus on the people, not the economy! pls.

its time this society needs to step out of her shadow of the past. paint a smile again on people's face..

apologise if the thoughts are all over the place. but am in desperate need to get them out of this head uh..