I really need that guiding hand now.. tell me what to do, how to go about it?

Stuck in the middle or dilemma literally. Not letting people down can be my forte and can be my murder, something I try hard to not have the former. Yet with this current depictment, I'm constantly forced into that corner. It really sucks to know that your friends are out there working hard, yet me being bounded by this nonchalant medical agreement. Its justifiable that you're the one that needs rest here, but with a pain that comes and go, doesn't exist in plain sight, and me doubting its existence at all ; its just pure mind blowing frustrations.

I hate people calling me a bummer, useless, chaokeng. Truth is that I'm not and I just don't know what and how to react in this situation of mine. Today I am be well, but that doesn't mean that god damn pain will not come knocking tonight.
Then there's the question of why continue doing those outdoor activities of yours given your injuries? Answer, yes I do feel pain doing them and against the doctor's advice. But they give me the temporary release from all that stress, and seriously not exercise at all! What am I going to do, sit around grow mold and grow fat? I also hate to see the hardwork I've worked hard to build before I enlist come tumbling down like a deck of cards. And lastly, not letting my friends there down too.

Which comes back to a whole continuous cycle... Army, family, doctor, friends. So frustrating.
I heard national service likes to take your weakest point, throw it into the open and let the sun tear at it. Is that what's going on now? Pls tell me if I can see the end of my tunnel or at least a tiny ray of light.