ORD's next week!
yet.. the excitement hadnt been what i pictured it to be. contrary its much lonelier & cold.
The phrase "朋友满天下(nt sure which xia)" seems to be a topic which doesnt applies to me.
really need to get my rigid-syndrome out of my life. I need more flow in everything I do, not some ass shit stupid logic and fear for something. Its a constant pet peeve when I cant sustain a proper conversation, understand what one is doing.. the 人汽关系 lah.. its so much easier putting it down on paper then reacting it out. Probably on paper just gives me the time to pause and think; out with people I'm always the one that seems to have dropped on the outside..

I crave that change. Yet how do i ? there's always that inner voice that says otherwise.. I'm tired...